Unfermented Fruit Beer

Steps to make Unfermented Fruit Beer (also known as "Slushie", "Smoothie", "Slurpy", "Popsicle", etc. by marketing teams that know how to appeal to childhood nostalgia):

1. Buy some fruit puree.
2. Package it with whatever beer you want.
3. Add some dissolved sugar/vanilla/lactose (or whatever).
4. Carbonate it light to reduce gushing.
5. If selling to go, instead of expecting customers to "keep it cold", use the easy money to take some responsibility and buy a damn pasteurizer. Or at least put some metabisulfite in there (just remember not to put "contains sulfite" on your label).

Noteworthy resources:

https://www.goodbeerhunting.com/sightlines/2018/8/22/exploding-cans

https://www.craftbeerjoe.com/craft-beer-styles/exploding-cans-of-fruit-beer/

https://www.pastemagazine.com/drink/craft-beer/exploding-beer-cans-trillium-450-north-fruit/