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[[File:Most hyped beer in the world.jpg|thumbnail|250px|right|Obligatory ridiculous glassware must accompany "heavily" fruited sours.]]
Steps to make Unfermented Fruit Beer (also known as "Pastry Sour", "Slushie", "Smoothie", "Slurpy", "Popsicle", "Sploojie", etc. by marketing teams that know how to appeal to childhood nostalgia):
# Buy some fruit puree.
# Package it with whatever beer or seltzer you want.
# Add some dissolved sugar/vanilla/lactose (or whatever).
# Carbonate it light to reduce gushing.
# If selling to go, instead of expecting customers to "keep it cold", use the easy money to take some responsibility and buy a damn pasteurizer. Or at least add some potassium sorbate and metabisulfite (remember not to inform your customers that this thing contains sulfites until the TTB/FDA force you to do so) and hope for the best.
Video instructions for making these at home (no homebrewing required):