Unfermented Fruit Beer
Steps to make Unfermented Fruit Beer (also known as "Slushie", "Smoothie", "Slurpy", "Popsicle", "Sploojie", etc. by marketing teams that know how to appeal to childhood nostalgia):
- Buy some fruit puree.
- Package it with whatever beer or seltzer you want.
- Add some dissolved sugar/vanilla/lactose (or whatever).
- Carbonate it light to reduce gushing.
- If selling to go, instead of expecting customers to "keep it cold", use the easy money to take some responsibility and buy a damn pasteurizer. Or at least add some potassium sorbate and hope for the best.
Video instructions for making these at home (no homebrewing required):